Always The Quiet One
by Meme-Ann
Summary: One of the Ducks is thinking about himself and wondering what his being quiet means while his friend struggles with knowing. Slash
1. 1

They say its always the quiet ones, but does anyone ever wonder who they are? And what is it exactly that the quiet ones always do? Are they the ones that cause the trouble or the ones you're certain never will? I want to know this because I am a quiet one. Is the fact that I'm one of the quiet ones the reason I've been thinking the things I've been thinking as of late and dreaming the things I've been dreaming. The fact that I'm quiet can that explain why I feel the way I do when I'm in the locker room and Charlie's standing beside me wiht his shirt off? Why everytime he mentions his girlfriends weather it be Linda, Catherine or Nicole I have the urge to puke. Could that be why sometimes I find myself fascinated by the muscles on the Bash Brothers' chest at times. Maybe that's the reason why I like Guy's eyes so much, or why I listen to pop music. Casablanca is my favorite movie and I spend more time on my hair then Luis does on his women. I've never once tried to see Julie or Connie naked and they've changed right in front me a few times. My clothes cost more then most peoples first car, I cry an awful lot. Growing up anytime that wasn't spent playing hockey I was shoping with my sister or cooking with my mom. Being one of the quiet ones, maybe that explains it all. When kids called me cruel names in school, I should've yelled. "No, I'm just one of the quiet ones!" When I go to tell people what I've been dreading telling them since I first started to think it was true, can I blame that on being a quiet one. It's us quiet ones that you gotta watch out for, it's us that suddenly turn gay. Though I guess it's not suddenly for me. But being one of the quiet ones makes my biggest problem. How am I ever going to tell Charlie, that I Adam Banks am in love with him? 


	2. 2

Charlie's POV  
  
He's always been so quiet, but more so as of late and I'm really starting to wonder why. The rest of us are normally loud and pumped up, but not him, the fact he doesn't say much just seems sort of weird. Despite sounding cliché though it's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for. Not that I see why anyone would have to look out for Banks, he's too nice of a guy. At least I think he is, I mean he use to be, before he stopped talking.  
  
I guess I know him better then most of the team, we use to be really good friends, and he still talks to me more then the rest. They get two words a day from him, I get three, four if it's important. I've known forever he's different from the rest of us, from the second he walked into the locker room in the peewees I knew. Sometimes it was like he intentionally separated himself from us, well from them at least, he never seemed to want to avoid me. When all the stuff happened with the varsity at the beginning of the year, things went from bad to worse. Banksie just clamed right up, even around me and we were best friends.  
  
In the locker room he just sort of looks around aimlessly, like he's distracted and can't focus on anything. But then occasionally I'll catch staring at Portman and Fulton while they goof around with each other and I wonder if he just wished he had a soulmate like that. I don't blame him for being lonely, I wasn't exactly nice to him when he was on the varsity, and I haven't made much effort since. I guess I thought once he was ours again things would just go back to the way they were. They haven't though.  
  
Then there's the sullen, longing look her gives me all the time. I just know it's because he wants us to fix things and be friends again, but he's waiting for me to make the first move. Sometimes I'll turn my head and he'll be next to me with his lips poised like he's ready to tell me something, then he decides against it and walks away. I feel allot of guilt on those days, but I figure if it's important he'll tell me. I find myself thinking constantly about why an attractive nice guy like Adam doesn't have a girlfriend, maybe if he did he wouldn't be so depressed all the time. I like to see him smile again, it's been a long time since he has. But instead of going out scooping like boys our age should he hangs around me like a sock to a sweater with static cling, never saying a word.  
  
However when I'm about to call the men in the white coats to come get him, I remember it's always the quiet ones. OH MY GOD THAT'S IT!! How could I have missed it? I've can't believe I never realized it before. IT IS ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES and Banks is gay. Wait a minute does that mean Banksie likes me.......? 


	3. 3

Linda's POV  
  
Charlie's been acting really weird lately, it's starting to worry me. He keeps muttering things about Adam being quiet, under his breath. I have to admit, it's a bit creepy. Sometimes I catch him staring at the team picture on his desk, blankly, like there is nothing behind his eyes. There's little feeling in face or emotion in his voice these days. For some reason he won't open up to me.  
  
I lean over and kiss his cheek and turns his head, to face me. I can feel it, he's looking right through me, like I'm not even here. There's something on his mind, I wish I could read whatever is playing in his head. To reach in and take his thoughts for my own and pick them apart until I discover the answer to the unasked question. It's been weeks since he stopped being who he was and turned into this mass of confusion.  
  
"What's the matter, Charlie?" I try again, for the fifth time in an hour.   
  
He forces a smile, which is far more then I've seen in a long time. "Nothing. Why would something be the matter?"  
  
I bite my lip as it starts to quiver. I can't take this anymore it's tearing my up inside. Why can't he share whatever secret he's holding, with me? Why can't he tell me, what's causing his so much anguish? I'm his girlfriend damn it, he's suppose to love me.  
  
"You can tell me, whatever it is Charlie, I won't judge you. I love you, no matter what the problem, I'll be here for you."  
  
Charlie's eyes seem to focus for the first time in days. His gaze settles on me, like he hasn't seen me in weeks. I feel cold under his stare, naked. His eyes are exposing my biggest weakness, my love for him.  
  
"It's not my place to tell you, Linda. If I thought was, I would've already."  
  
"You can tell me anything. Just share your secret with me, and I'll help you deal with it."  
  
Suddenly builds behind his, a flash of heat sweeps over the icy room. He flares his nostrils and anger like an enraged bull. Finally, emotion, I see emotion in his face. Sure, it's annoyance, maybe even fury, but emotion none the less.  
  
"It's not my secret to tell damn it!" Charlie screams, furious, but seeming to come to life again. He sweeps his hands over the top of his dresser sending a bottle of cologne to the floor. The room is now thick with a musty sent, oozing from the shattered glass.  
  
"If it's bothering you this much then tell me. I can help, you and your friend, at least the best I can."  
  
His shoulders slump and the tenseness leaves his muscles, eye cooling. He closes his eyelids lightly and I can see his eyeball twitching beneath them. There's so much aggravation and uncertainty in him. "Just go home, Linda. I'll be fine."  
  
I leave without argument, scared to set him off again. Terrified of what may happen. He's baring too much of a burden for this secret, I hope it's worth it. 


End file.
